dvnmama

Got an email from Jen this morning motivating me to get back on board.  I’ve reigned in my eating this week. I can’t believe I let myself get back to 175.  I’m so mad about that. But instead of eating because I’m mad at myself and making it worse, I got back to the gym. I went Monday and Tuesday, rode for an hour and lifted weights for 40 min. Every muscle in my body hurts. I was planning on going today, but I forgot ds has an orthodontist appointment this morning, and by the time I get him to school after that, I’m only going to have about an hour and a half before I have to pick him up again since it’s an early dismissal day. If I didn’t have so much work to do, that would work, but I’m swamped.

It’s been so hot and awful here. We’re about to break the record of days over 110 degrees…the record is 28. I’m just so done with the heat. I want to be able to get out of the air conditioning and get outside. I’m not sure it’s ever going to be cool this year. It’s so hard to get ds outside to do anything that I ordered some exercise videos for kids that we can do together.  Hopefully they will get here this week.  I think he’ll enjoy doing some weight training with me with his wee little weights :)  Summer in the southwest…yet ANOTHER heat advisory today.  Sizzle…sizzle…sizzle.  What I wouldn’t give for 2 digit temperatures right now.

So breakfast today is a “curves” bar (have to have something small when you wake up at 5am) and a smoothie. Lunch is a bowl of veggie soup and something else, and I’m not sure what’s going to happen for dinner tonight.

Back to it…and sticking with it.

I used to do it all the time, I swear.  But I never liked it.  I can get up at 4:30 to work, but that doesn’t involve leaving my house.  I got up and went to my 5:30 am cycling class and then did weights afterwards.  Yes, it’s done, but I’m far more tired than usual at this time of the day, lol.  Making lasagne roll ups for dinner tonight.  I think I will have the calories to burn though, so I’m not worried.  Ds is at his schools summer program today, and then again tomorrow, thank the buddha.  He’s been b.o.r.e.d…already.  Not enough kids around her to have a real summer vacation :(  

Ohhhh, schools out.

Really bummed about the Suns game last night .    Stayed up too late watching it and now I’m hazy trying to work.    This is going to be a loonnnnnggg series.

Especially when my husband snores like a buzzsaw for most of the night.  Granted, he is sick, but I may suggest the guest room tonight so I can get some sleep.  Yesterday was not a banner day for me.  I came in at my calorie cut off, but did not make the best choices…fell into some old patterns.  Ds got a personal pan pizza from pizza hit at Target because he is eating everything in sight right now…and I of course helped him finish it.  Then we took a VERY leisurely bike ride ( riding with an 8 year old in 100 degree heat) to Sonic where I got a diet cherry limeade-one of my favorite treats, and he got a Sonic Blast.  He was taking FOREVER to finish it, so I helped him.  Helping him finish food is an issue for me, so I’m going to have to keep that front brain.  Overall though, the weekend did not kill me. I got exercise in both days, and now I’m facing a week of work, work, work, housecleaning, and we’re down to the last 2 weeks of school for ds.  After that, I’m really going to have to be diligent about exercise, because it’s hard to get it in when you work at home and have a child with you all day.  But then again, it was “hard” to do when I didn’t have these things too, so I guess it’s all how you think about it.

Off I go to start working. 

 Ahhh, mother’s day.  They day on which all mothers have to pretend that they’re getting what they want, when what we most want is to not have to do anything special.  I told my son and my husband that I wanted a day with no arguing and no stress.  So far, so good.  We’ll be taking a long bike ride later on…I guess we’re waiting until it gets good and hot, lol.  And then in the evening, hopefully, we’ll head out to the riparian center in gilbert and take the dog for a good long walk and ds can birdwatch.  

I went to the gym yesterday, which was good.  Ds got to work out in the kids aerobics class.  I honestly wish they’d do that both days on the weekend.  It would be fun for him.  I did some cardio, and chest and back.  I’m sore, but note crazily so.  Usually when I start weight training again, I push it so hard that I’m too sore to train for days.  I was a good girl this time.  Afterwards I took ds for a haircut, and as is our tradition, to get ice cream afterwards.  I made a good choice…a kids size daquiri ice.  I can’t honestly say that I didn’t miss the pralines and cream, but 130 cals and no fat vs 500 cal and 36 gms of fat…it was defintely worth it.  The scale is still moving in the right direction and I’m feeling good about it right now.  As long as I continue to make good choices, it will continue.  I’ve called my mom, I’ve called my sister, I’ve talked to my sister in law on her first mother’s day…dh has to call his mom and all the duties are done.  I guess I have to get off the couch now and deal with the day.

Weekends are by far my toughest time.  Too much time to snack.  I am getting to the gym today for some time on the ellyptical and some weight training.  Ds has a 30 min kids aerobics class he can go to while I’m there, so he’s not in daycare for too long on a weekend. I did pretty well yesterday.  Was very conscious of what I was eating.  Unfortunately I got myself into a situation where I had to run out for lunch, but got an oriental chicken salad at the wildflower bread co.  I didn’t eat the crunchy noodles and only had a few of the almonds, and used a wee bit of the dressing, and topped the rest with vinegar.  It was yummy.  It came with sourdough bread, which I ate some of in a moment of idiocy, but all in all, I was happy with the day.  I’m going to work hard today to be as happy or happier with my choices.

Having spent most of my adult life on Weight Watchers with success sometimes, not so much others, I’ve decided that I’m at the point (haha, get it?) in my life where the equation of calories in > calories burned is where it lies.  I did this last year for the month of May and lost 10 pounds.  Of course then I went on vacation…for the entire year.  Not really, but here I am back again.  I went to NY last weekend to see some really old friends.  They thought I looked great.  Of course I was probably closer to 190 the last time I saw any of them.  Or I had just come out of a coma.  Either way, I look pretty good comparitively.  I was horrified by the pictures.  No amount of pink hair dye can change the way my stomach hangs over my waistband or the double chin I have acquired again.  I’m so mad at myself for being back here.  I tried to get back on the Weight Watchers wagon, but I just can’t wrap my brain around doing what has to be done there.  So, it’s a calorie counting life for me. 

I’ve been back on the healthy eating wagon for 2 days now.  My stomach is gurgly from the increase in fiber, I’m peeing all the time from the water, but for the most part, I already feel better.   It’s all good from here.